I recently received this rather disturbing letter:
Hello
My name is Oswaldetta. I am evil. I have a problem with a monkey. I want to kill it.
What should I do and what is the best way of killing a monkey?
Dear Oswaldetta
Well well Oswaldetta, you are in a pickle aren't you. I think jealousy is your main problem. From what you tell me about this monkey it seems very nice and harmless and beautiful. Your feelings probably stem from your ugliness and evilness. I wouldn't know about being ugly and evil but I can suggest you are put in the loft with scary blue bear. He could use some company.
As for killing monkeys. This is not possible. They are invincible like Five!